Aussie vetriloquist goes to New Zealand

[artificer]

A ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small outback village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog & figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

"Hey, mind if I talk to your dog? " Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, stupid "

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate? " Dog: "Doin' all right. "

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you? " Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play. "

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Kiwi: "Uh, the horse don't talk either. .. . . I think. "

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going? " Horse: "Cool"

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner? " (pointing at the villager) Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep? " Kiwi: (in a panic) "That sheep's a liar."